At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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