Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
