Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
