maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
