You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
