Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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