Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
