You can't motorboat a personality
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The air taste purple.
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