I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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