And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
