Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
