Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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