She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize