I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize