If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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