i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize