That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
