shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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