I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
