census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize