I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
