too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
