I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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