Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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