Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize