I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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