tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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