; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
