how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
