let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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