Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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