I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
