every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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