Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
