the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
