can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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