12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
