I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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