Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize