his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
