Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
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