Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize