he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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