sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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