anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
