Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
