so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize