What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it because I queefed?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
