Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize