haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
