At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
"it" just moved
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
