Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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