I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
