i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize