We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
