What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
