So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
