I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
