summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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