office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
