just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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