sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im holly from the hills drunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
