And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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