I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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