You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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