dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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