I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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